Let Me Know If You Need Anything

My grandmother had a stroke yesterday.


"Check your voicemail," said a text from my mom.


I told her there was no voicemail.


"It was supposed to say that I was just letting you know I'm in the ER with Nanny. They think she had a stroke," she said when she called me back.





Tears. Many of them.


I spent the rest of the afternoon and most of the evening being a frantic mess. Honestly, I think I just stared at my work computer for the last two hours that I was there. I had no idea what was going on, what had happened or how bad it was.


Facebook spreads news and while I don't really like to air out my laundry online, I asked my Facebook friends for prayers. I thought it would be ok since my step dad already had. In times like these -- hurry up and wait -- all anyone ever seems to know how to say is


"Keep me updated!"


or


"Let me know if you need anything!"


I always tell people I don't need anything, or I'll "let them know if I do!" but then, of course, I never do. I never know what to say when people say things like that.


"Can you make it so that this never happened?"


"Can you take away the pain that my grandfather is feeling right now?"


"Can you take some of the stress off my mom?"


That's what I'd like to say, but of course any sane person wouldn't say anything like that.


I just want all of this to go away and for my Nanny to get better. I'm sure it sounds incredibly selfish to say that I'm already stressed out and and this only added to it, but it's true. There comes a point in every semester when the stress mounts and I feel like I won't survive, and I think that time is now. We're not even two months in! Oh, the things I would change if I could go back in time.