Rebound That Basketball, Rebound That Basketball!

In the game of basketball, rebounding is a fairly simple concept. However, in the dating world, a rebound is not so simple.


In basketball, rebounding refers to, essentially, chasing after a missed shot. Someone takes a shot, and then everyone crashes the boards. Whether the shot seems off or not, players are taught to anticipate a missed shot, because no one wants to be caught standing around and miss an opportunity. If the offensive team grabs the rebound, they've gained the opportunity to score again, if the defensive team gets it, the ball makes its way to the other end of the court to give someone else the opportunity to score.

A few basketball team members and I,
senior year of high school.
This is such an old picture!

I turn to Urban Dictionary every now and then to get a dose of humor, but sometimes the definitions for common slang terms are spot-on. This definition for the word rebound pretty much hits the nail on the head.

Rebound: The kind of relationship that's simply happening in order to get over one that recently ended.

Yep, that about sums it up.


Typically, you hear things like, "I don't really like him that much; he's just a rebound," or "She's just using him to get over so-and-so." This is basically true and the fact of the matter is, rebounds are only good for two things: (1) The rebounder realizes that he/she is not over the relationship that just ended and wants to give it another go, or (2) The rebounder is completely over the previous relationship and ready to "get back in the game." I would guess that about 90 percent of the time, that "game" doesn't involve the reboundee.


Being stuck in a rebound relationship sucks for most everyone involved. "I am so in love with this girl; there's no way it's just a rebound," thinks the reboundee. "I'm not over my ex," thinks the rebounder. "She's totally not over me yet," thinks the ex. Before you know it, you're caught in the middle of a faux relationship, facing the challenge of telling your rebound that things aren't going to work out. You are the rebounder, your "partner" is the reboundee, making him/her the basketball when it comes down to it. A basketball won't roll out the door on its own. You're holding it in your hands, you're dribbling it, you're shooting it, you control it. That basketball isn't going to go anywhere unless you pass it off to someone else, or throw it out of bounds. For the sake of everyone involved, get rid of the ball; the clock is running out!


Depending on how long one lets the rebound continue, there's a possibility it could develop into a full fledged relationship. You know, Facebook status, much more than just sexy sleepovers. This could last anywhere between a few weeks to a few months. However, the truth remains that it's just a rebound, which causes a vicious cycle. The moment the rebounder finally ends the psuedo-relationship, the reboundee (who thought the relationship was real) finds the roles to be reversed and suddenly, he/she is in the position of the rebounder.


Getting out of a relationship is never easy, but the best way to avoid a rebound is simply to not get into one. It will spare the feelings of the reboundee and eventually your own.

"If a guy ever tells you that you complete him, run, because we're not any good to anyone if we're not a whole person ourselves," Lucky Spencer, General Hospital

So I watch soaps, sue me. Sometimes they actually show relationships with a little bit of substance and sometimes someone says something insightful. Lucky is right. The best way to get past a failed relationship is to find yourself within yourself and stop looking for the missing pieces of you in other people.