The Opposite of Domesticity

According to a number of online thesauruses, domesticity doesn't have an antonym. If it did though, that word could be used to describe me. Let me tell you a story.


I will never be a good wife if I keep baking cakes that look like this.

I have been extremely stressed out lately. There's a lot going on with school, my freelance, family stuff, whatever... so for some reason I decided it would be a good idea to bake something to relieve my stress.


I ventured to Wal-Mart and bought my favorite kind of cake, along with some chocolate icing. I read the back of the box and took note of everything I would need. I don't know what I was thinking. I don't own a 13 x 9 baking dish, yet I bought the mix anyway. Before walking away, I glanced up at the little cupcake paper thingies and thought to myself, "No, I'm going to bake a cake."


Well, on my way out of Wal-Mart, I got a call from the copy desk chief of the Amarillo Globe-News. About a month ago, I had submitted some clips for a copy editing position they have open. YAY! I sat in my car in the Wal-Mart parking lot for about half an hour doing a telephone interview. Long story short, it went well and finalists will be chosen around December 1 for face-to-face interviews and then about three weeks later, someone will be chosen.


Anyway, back to my cake.


I got home and realized there was no way the baking dish I had was going to work. "Ok, so two cakes?" I thought. "Oh, cupcakes." (This is where those paper thingies, whatever they're called, would've come in handy.) I love cupcakes. I have that right since I'm a girl. So, I do the prep and get out my muffin tin. I'll tell you how it went.


A) I'm a mess and pouring from a bowl is hard. The box said to fill the tin 2/3 full, so of course some of them were too full. Others were not full enough, so I spent a few minutes scooping batter into other parts of the tin.


B) Oops! I forgot to spray the tin!


C) Oh, well. It's going in the oven anyway.


So, I wait for 18-23 minutes and take my cupcakes out of the oven. They look good! I read the directions on the can of frosting. "Ok, wait for them to cool." I continue watching television as I wait and probably five minutes later, which to me seems like 25, I think "Ok, surely they're cool now."


I run a knife on the outsides of each little cupcake to scoop them out of the tin. Some came out in one piece, some didn't. A product, I'm sure, of my impatience. An aside: yellow cake cupcakes look a lot like corn bread. About five minutes after that, (25 in my head) I decide it's time to ice the cupcakes.


Oh, p.s., I fill my baking dish with the rest of the batter and put my cake in the oven around this time.


I start icing the cupcakes and I don't know it's because I suck at it, or what, but it didn't work. I thought it would spread easily and it didn't. some of the cupcakes tore on the top and some of the bottoms tore off. BLAH.


I went to take a shower.


The cake was almost ready when I got out so I waited a little longer. After I pulled the cake out, I thought, maybe I shouldn't wait this time. That, too, was a mistake. Some of the cake pulled off with my spatula while I was trying to ice it. BLAH again. I waited another 25 minutes, ha, and tried again. More cake came off. Ok, I give up, thus the result seen in the above picture. At least it tastes good.


Now I am watching New Moon in my bed. That's what I do best. Stare at hot boys like Taylor Lautner (post Jake haircut) and wish I could bake them perfectly iced cakes.


Keep dreaming, Babe. Keep dreaming.